Regardless of what you are doing we rely on feedback. Our bodies are a system of feedback that allows us to progress through life. It seems to be part of the natural order that we use feedback within our engagement with others.
People read feedback before they make decisions and when we invest in relationships we enjoy getting feedback on what works well, but we also need to develop so hearing about what we could adapt is useful too!
I welcome feedback, but I will also admit that I could get a thousand perfect comments and I would still over focus on the mean comment even if it was not true - what it that all about? How we deal with criticism reflects on our emotional maturity, I no longer cry into my cereal about the injustice of other peoples perceptions, but it took time to get there. I was lucky to work with Vicky Chisholm in 2017 using a combination of spiritual and sympathetic systems to get myself back on track after the huge transition of leaving the Army. https://vickichisholmpersonalpower.co.uk/ Vicky directed me to the works of Ruiz and the four agreements. This is a small book and does not take long to read but you might find yourself going over sections again.
These four agreements do provide some useful guidance to step forward with.
So now I rationalise the feedback I receive, and try to only own what I actually took part in. I say try because I am always evolving and some days I do this very well and others I falter. When we come to situations with frustration and anger we are blinkered to our true ability to communicate with compassion and truth.
On a positive note I reviewed my recent feedback from coaching through the NHS Southwest Coaching and Mentoring Hub.
The topics that we covered were transition, finding a new job, starting a new job, education support, work life balance and leadership/management issues.
I asked about what I did well - to start on a good note
Areas for me to develop are: I was rated 4.86 out of a possible 5 stars.
Summary
When seeking feedback we can shape the manner in which we receive it. It might be through the format of the questions that we ask as shown in this survey of coachees. We can also choose to ask for verbal feedback when our resolve and motivation is high and we are psychologically read to hear developmental comments. As a side note, how many times have you asked for feedback when you were feeling sad or low needing a verbal boost?
Do you actively seek feedback?
Never
Yes when I am feeling positive.
All the time its part of my job.
Occasionally at my annual review.
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