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  • Writer's pictureSara

Life might be a bit easier if you carried just your own baggage.

Take a moment and think of a person you know who carries all the worries of the world, they are worn out, grey, lacking in energy at times and you feel a negative energy around that makes you feel that all is not as good as it could be.

Its like they are Atlas carrying the weight of all upon their back and will never be relieved of this thankless task. Can you help them? Do you want to help them?

What about if its you?

We often carry around issues with us that our not ours, we did not set them off and we cannot actually change the course of its direction. An example might be receiving a letter that concerns you, advising you to call but the telephone line has closed. This does pile on some anxiety and worry into your already loaded rucksack of concerns, but can be addressed with a simple algorithm.

You ask yourself what it is that you think you need to do with this concern?

  • Do I have the answer to receiving this letter Yes or No - Answer is Yes you are itching to call the hot line.

  • OK so can you call them Yes or No? The answer is No as the hot line closed ten minutes ago and you are raging or weepy at the idea that you cannot sort this out now.

  • What are your options:

1. Keep ringing the hotline anyway.

2. Set an alarm for the time that the hotline opens.

3. Ruin your weekend worrying about a task that is impossible

to complete immediately.

4. Do nothing and relax and just wait and see.


Depending on your personality preference some people would not think this was an issue as they might not have opened the letter. But what I am trying to provide is an example of how we can take control of certain things that seem out of control and place it in a new zone, of manageable and achievable actions.



Some people benefit from exploring all of their worries and concerns. This is where the circle of control tool comes in handy. You might want to do this in pencil so you can rub out the entries of things in your control and move them to the out of control zone.


Here is the template that you can copy the image and save to write over your own words and activities for exploration of what is in your control.



When you are exploring the things that life is throwing at you, the initial task of identifying them can be cathartic for some, you can also insert a inner ring if you can identify tasks that you need help with to bring them into your control.


A great example of a middle ring task that someone can help with is - receiving bills that are outside of your income. There are organisations such as Citizens Advice Bureau who can help negotiate payment plans or advise alternative options for managing your money. If you think it helps add the middle ring of I can control if I get help.


The concept of control links well into extrinsic and intrinsic factors which some people blend with their sense of who has control of an issue and also of who they might blame for what is occurring. To understand the associated theory check out self-determination theory to explore Autonomy and Mastery. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-determination-theory-2795387


If you have any feedback on any of these blog posts I would be interested to hear about them. Enjoy your Weekend.


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